atha kena prayukto ‘yam, papam carati purusah
anicchann api varsneya, balad iva niyojitah
1) I reckon that there is a force, (call it my bad Shoulder Angel) within me, that makes me act, speak or behave in a way that may not be the ideal or right way. I have no control over it, even if I do realize that I am wrong.
2) The only way I can measure how far I have deviated from the ideal is by introspection. A Seeker, will measure himself against the ideal man as portrayed in the Gita, to take stock of how far he has deviated or how much he has to work towards changing his ways to be anywhere close to the ideal man.
3) If I question my motives, actions and words, introspect and measure myself against the teachings, it will help me stay humble and grounded. I have to make a conscious effort not to allow my ‘satvik ego’ ( I do not become pure and holy because I attend Gita Satsang every week) interfere in the way I deal with situations, people and work I do.
kama esah krodha esah, rajo-guna-samudbhavah
mahasano maha-papma, viddhy enam iha vairinam
4) When I am spiritually ignorant, my mind is pre occupied with endless desires for material things, for attention, for validation, for love, for importance. When I am unable to fulfill my desire, it turns to anger. I look for ways to express my anger. I have come to appreciate that desire and anger are two sides of the same coin.
5) This desire-anger emotion is a hindrance to my intellect and does not allow me to introspect or reflect if I have chosen to do the right thing. This further tempts me to invariably compromise on my values and make irrational decisions.
6) I know now that I should not look outside of me for help to overcome my desire- anger emotion. Introspecting and awakening my senses to spiritual ideologies maybe the answer.
dhumenavriyate vahnir, yathadarso malena ca
yatholbenavrto garbhas, tatha tenedamavrtam
7) My desires veil my intellect and interfere with my wisdom, my rational capacity and my ability to control my anger.
8) Even my satvik pursuits is a form of desire- Desire to understand the teachings from the scriptures, desire to be attached to a guru. If I don’t watch out, I will soon find myself preaching the lessons from the Gita to the others, before I apply the learning in my life. (Popular way to lose friends!)
9) Some of my desires may be difficult to overcome than some others. Some of my desires have to run its course before I exhaust the attachment to them, before they become undesirable. Some of my desires will change form and become other kinds of desires. I appreciate and understand the truth that my happiness quotient entirely depends on lowering the number of desires I entertain instead of the increasing the number of desires I fulfill.
avrtam jnanam etena, jnanino nitya-vairina
kama-rupena kaunteya, duspurenanalena ca
10) I have no one else to point fingers at but myself for the insatiable desires I experience. The more I work towards satisfying my needs, wants and desires, the more likely they will increase in number and size. I lose my sense of telling apart the good from the bad, the important from the unimportant when I work towards fulfilling my desires, needs and wants.