Not in my wildest dreams

I had not imagined 20 odd years back when I was in school, that I would be busy revising subjects like social studies,mathematics, science and languages 20 odd years hence. Not in my wildest dreams. When you close the books related to these subjects one last time, at the end of school years, you say to yourself, that is it. You do not intend reading up any of those concepts anymore in your life because you are done with it. There were greener pastures at which to graze. Newer subjects to master.

Little do we realize that these concepts that we thought we were doing away with, will keep surfacing back in our lives, many years later. Sometimes more than once. Its almost like being back in school again. Except this time around, there are no exams to take at the end of the year.

I was bad….

….at Math when I needed to be good. I suppose I was the way I was because I did not work on the concepts I was learning. This evening my mother observed that I was good at teaching concepts to my ten year old. I wonder why I never enjoyed Math when I was her age. I had this incredible detest towards the subject. I dreaded the day they gave back corrected papers. It was the only day I hated being roll number one in the attendance records. I so hated my classmates who waited with restless anticipation to see how much they had missed scoring. I was restless too. But not for the same reasons.

I wish I am given a chance to show my math teachers at school how I have improved now.

Choking truth

My mom choked on a pill this evening. I think I caused it. I asked her if she was ready for dinner and she answered with the pill and a mouthful of water in her mouth. And then it happened. For three minutes after that she was out of sorts. She coughed continuously and couldn’t breathe. I watched her struggle and gasp for breath. I was not sure if she needed me to help. When I ventured to pat her back, she pushed me away. She drew a short breath before I panicked. Her eyes were watering, her face reddened. I gave her a sip of water and spoke to her in a calm voice. She collected herself within minutes and was her usual self again.

I reflected on what could have been when the episode subsided. What if she had collapsed tonight? I am ashamed of the next question that popped up. What if the inevitable had happened ….just when the exams were about to begin at school. My mom laughed at the question when I confessed to her later.

My faith in moms was renewed. I hope I will live to love and forgive my daughter for slights like those when I grow old.

I love you ma.

I am Buddha

No. It is not any proclamation for fame. I have begun reading a book
on spirituality this morning. If you had told me a month back that I
will be reading books on spirituality soon, I would have brushed it
aside as an impossibility. But what was to be, is. I am reading
Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and I have made a realization
within few minutes of beginning the book- I experience many bouts of ‘
no mind ‘ states through the day. That according to Tolle is a sure
shot way to be close to the Being.

I vow to be awakened to my thoughts and emotions from now.

Therefore, I am Buddha – the awakened one. Now you know.

Emotions in check

Have you felt your heart tug?
Have you experienced the swell of your heart when you feel proud?
Have your eyes stung with unshed tears watching your little one perform?
Have you cried because you were happy?

Or is it just me.

Rewind Circa 1990

It was obvious today more than ever how things have changed over the years. Today I met and interacted with four dozen 20 year olds at a local college. We had one thing in common between us. The year 1990. They were born the year I graduated. The similarity ended right there.

The 20 year old from 1990 is a technology savvy woman of today. She networks, blogs, browses, greedily reads updates on subjects that interest her, shares memories of a pre- internet era with her peers, has the best of both worlds.

The 20 year old woman of today is a confident, no nonsense, I-know-what-I -want-from-life person. Exposure to global lifestyles, choices, products, and the internet seems to have made its indelible impact. A far cry from the 20 year olds of the 1990's.
Despite the ubiquitous internet in everyone's life, these women seemed not to use the internet much except for social networking. They knew of Orkut and Facebook. Beyond that zilch. I expected them to be active bloggers. I was surprised not many were inclined to writing anything at all, leave alone in a blog.

Fast Forward to Circa 2020. When the bunch of today's ten year olds , that include my daughter, will have grown up to be 20 year olds.The world is at their feet. Only time will tell if they will be a different crop.

Potpourri of people

When I went to the ritual Sunday morning walk-talk session with a dear friend this morning, there was a potpourri of people who crossed my path. They ranged from lungi clad 60 plus year old men jogging with their lungi’s tied up high around their waist, a woman in a bright yellow Kanchivaram silk with a matching bright sunny morning smile plastered on her face, a tall lady who carried herself well that we assumed she probably was a doctor taking a break from pulling an all nighter, the regulars who come dressed in faded tee shirts and mismatched tracksuits,another septuagenarian with ear phones smugly over his ears and a little cotton shoulder bag that housed the ubiquitous iPod, another retired gentleman who probably ran marathons in his hey days who was racing ahead of everyone, a gang of loud mouth followers of a white dhoti clad local administrator and us.

Hopefully we fit into the surroundings and did not stand out.